


About Nova Squadron

by screammusic



Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-05
Updated: 2013-08-05
Packaged: 2017-12-22 12:53:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/913439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/screammusic/pseuds/screammusic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wesley Crusher was never good with girls, but his best friend was an exception. He was almost too comfortable with the alien girl. Regrets and questions happen on a regular basis, but when Wes goes too far, their relationship is tested and replayed in memories.</p>
            </blockquote>





	About Nova Squadron

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted one where Wesley has a friend, and a romantic relationship isn't explained, but you hear about the before. It sort of sucks, and I'm surprised I didn't kill anyone off, but maybe I'll reuse Natalia in the same universe. As always, I don't own Star Trek, and I am welcome to any criticism and suggestions. 
> 
> IMPORTANT TO THE FIC : ~~~~~=start and end of flashbacks as a whole, ------=new flashback

"Hey, Wes." Natalia entered the pale room, a soft smile on her face.

"Talia. Uhm," Wesley shifted up to a sitting position hastily, only managing a recline. "Hey. What are you doing here?" He was quick in his replies.

"I came to see if you were okay. Considering you're my best friend and all, I thought it be alright. Unless you want me to leave?" She fraized everything carefuly, cautiously sitting in the chair next to his hospital bed.

"I'm fine. It's fine...you're fine." Wes finished lamely, looking down at his hands. 

"It wasn't your fault, you know." Wesley pulled his hands away from her reaching one. Her blunt words didn't matter to him at that moment. Nothing did. Josh was gone, the squad was falling apart, and a man he trusted fully was asking him to lie. So screw whatever consolation she was trying to give. "Wes?" She tried quietly.

"Look, just-just go. Please." He knew he was getting snappy, and by her look it wasn't a good idea, but he honestly couldn't of cared less. 

"You said it was fine." She reminded.

"I lied."

"Wesley-"

"Natalia go!" The cadet turned his head to her firmly, glaring at her completely. All he met was irritating defiance.

"You really blame yourself don't you?" She accused.

"Yeah, I do. You're so right. Just like always." He all but mocked. Natalia's jaw dropped a little.

"This isn't about me!"

"It's not about me either! Josh is dead. Dead, Natalia. Don't you fucking get it?" He raised his voice at the younger one. 

"Get what? That you had bad leadership? Is that really-"

"Just stop! We went along with it! I went along with it! It's the teams fault. Not Patrick's." Wesley was getting angrier now, taking out all of the bottled feelings he held, and shooting his best friend with them. 

"But you blame yourself more." She stated neutrally.

"You. Weren't. There. So shut up about it."

"Wesley!" She stood, ready to yell right back. But the man in question beat her to it.

"What? What could you possibly want? Me to tell you how I did the final convincing? How Josh said no but I went back and persuaded him? Is that what you want to hear?" He sat up   
straighter, balling his fists. "Josh is dead because I made him go!"

"Goddammit, Wesley! Fucking listen for once! You're not always to blame! Pat told you to do it. He should never have asked that of anyone!"

"Josh wasn't ready-"

"Neither were you!"

The two stared each other down. "Don't fucking tell me about my own goddamn mission."

"Wesley-"

"Excuse me!" The nurse burst through the door. "You both need to quiet down and watch your language or I'll throw you out!" She ended by glaring whole-hardily at the blonde haired girl. 

"I'd rather she go now." Spite laced his words, piercing relentlessly into the affronted girl. But Wes didn't care about the pain shining in her green eyes, or the way she bit her lip. All anger drained away from Talia. All pretense of yelling had ebbed away, and she only felt hurt. Possibly betrayed. After everything she put up with- all of the pain and anger- and he still didn't trust her. Didn't trust her and didn't care enough to take one second and think.

"Fine." Her voice cracked slightly, and she turned around and marched out. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Just close your eyes!" Wesley prompted, smiling at her hesitant, happy, face. He held both of her hands, sitting close in a chair angled next to hers. 

"Alright." She finally agreed, biting her lip and giving his hands a light squeeze. Her eyes slid closed, and she let the smile melt away a little. Wesley waited a few moments, looking   
at Natalia's relaxing face. 

"The bridge. It's all sweeping angles and half circles, carpeted and comfortable. There's two turbo lifts going in, and the Captain's ready room is on the left. The main control panel hugs the light chairs below, and bridge control for individual sections are behind that." He spoke softly, guiding her through it all. "In front of the senior officer's chairs, there's the Navigator and Helmsman seats."

"Where you sit." She commented quietly, her voice sounding as if she'd woken a few minutes prior.

"Yeah, where I sit," Wesley felt a happy warmth spread throughout him. "And everything faces one giant, beautiful, glass view screen." 

"To see the stars..." She sounded wistful in a way. Wes couldn't help but think of the dangers the screen showcased. The pain and death. It made him involuntarily tense, then mentally curse himself for it as she opened those eyes of hers. The pools of alien green calming him almost instantly. "What's wrong, Wes?" She whispered, tangling their fingers in concern.

"It's nothing." He said just as quietly. She pulled herself up and over, using his hands for guidance, twisting the fingers as she settled into his lap. Wesley swallowed, looking up and never breaking eye contact. "Talia?" 

"Tell me." She wrapped arms around his neck, his now free hands clasping behind her back. Wes blinked a few times, dropping his gaze to the right of her neck. 

"You don't want to know."

"Wesley Robert Crusher," She brought her hands up to the sides of his smooth face, turning it up to her own. "I've got you." 

Wesley bit his lip, taking one of her hands in his own, ensuring her balance with his other. She would understand, he knew. But whether or not he was ready to understand was debatable. Talia was certain to make sense of it, to tell him in blunt truth why things went down as they did. In a way, he'd rather be blissfully unaware. But under no circumstance would he lie or hide from her. She deserved more than that.

"I started as an ensign..."

\-------

"I don't get the point." She was so ridicules. This was a lifestyle, a wonderful thing! Yet she couldn't get it!

"Natalia. There are three dimensions. Just like everything else. It's not that hard. Take it seriously." Wesley explained patiently. She pouted.

"Back where I come from, they don't play chess. There's much more interesting things to do." She squared up, a innocent impassiveness on her face. She stared at the bottom level, arms straight by her sides. Her counterpart was the complete opposite. Elbows on table, fingers on temples, glaring at the girl.

"Just move the fucking piece."

Natalia looked up at him, an affronted look stamped on her pale features. The purple tinged flesh, almost unnoticeable, was highlighting her eyes in a wonderful way. The blonde curls were thrown in a unattractive heap on her head, pieces floating around and into her face. But the stubborn line of her lips, and widening of her eyes which made him throw his head to the table. 

She began to move her piece, "I really don't understand how you're so sweet and kind to everyone else," As she stressed the words, Wesley looked up in irritated glare. "But you're so. Damn. Rude. To me." Her pleasant tone had him sitting back with a hand through his hair. 

"Because," He sounded sarcastic, "I've never had a friend like you." 

"That's right." She gave him a nod, apparently pleased with the answer. Wesley tried to hide the smile, but he honestly couldn't. That was until he looked to the board. Then he was just plain done with the girl.

"But your move wasn't."

\----------

"Tali!" 

"You're doing it!"

"But Tali!"

"Wesley, you're gonna have to accept it."

"Talia! It makes no sense!"

"Oh my god!"

"Come on!"

"It's not that big of a deal."

"Then don't make me do it!"

"Wesley."

"What?"

"Shut up."

The boy huffed, utterly irritated. He didn't need to learn anything. He was perfectly fine as it was. Natalia finished putting the music synchronizer on, and turned to him. The silk of her dress spun and drifted around her knees, the lights throwing colours into the purple fabric. Wesley had the sudden urge to run his fingers through the shimmer, or possibly the blonde curls she obviously took time to perfect. Sure, the back wasn't as uniform, but they looked so incredibly soft...and he was missing her instructions. 

"Sorry, what?" He blinked away from her outfit, seeing those emeralds blink at him. A smile played on her lips.

"I was just saying that you shouldn't have such instant regret with this. You don't know how to dance, I do. Let me teach you." She wrapped her arms around his neck, lips   
stretching as he lid his hands along her dress to the small of her back.

"Okay." He bit his lip. 

"Now, take a step forward with your right foot." She lightly pulled him towards her, stepping back with her left leg, but ended up with that leg bent up with a flinch.

"I'm so sorry!" Wesley blushed, leaning down to take a closer look. Her foot was slightly purple from him stepping on it, and it panicked the boy. He, despite Natalia's squeak of indignation, sweeped her up and onto the couch six feet away. 

"Wes, what are you doing?" She didn't sound angry, and she wasn't. But confusion was running ramped in her mind, chasing thoughts in circles until she had to ask for an explanation.

"I'm sorry." Wesley was generally upset by this. Pain wasn't something he allowed to happen to her (if he could avoid it) and being the cause of pain...

"You stepped on my foot the first time we danced. It's not a big deal." She moved her legs off the red fabric, her legs tangling in with his bent knees. Carting a hand through her best friends hair, she gave him a curious look. "This is a total overreaction on your part. You realize this, yes?" 

"I don't want you to be hurt." He shielded his brown eyes from her, leaning into her solid touch.

"That's not it. You overreact all the time. I get a paper cut and it's like I'm dying. This goes deeper." Cooling waves of sound hit him, the rolling words wrapping around him. She always had to be right. 

"I've seen people get hurt. I've been the cause of it. What you see as a paper cut, I see as the start of some infection that'll kill you. And I can't even fight that. Don't you see? You're different, a species I can't even begin to understand. What happens if you get sick and I don't recognize it? I won't be able to help you. And you could get hurt at any time. I can't loose you." He blinked his watery eyes, grabbed her hands in his, and looked straight into her own teary orbs. "I'd do anything to keep you safe."

"But you can't treat me like a child, Wes." She slipped off the couch, landing in his lap warmly. "I'm gonna get hurt, I'm only going to get seriously sick, and one day I'll die. But I'm stronger than you hums. It may seem like pain, but I'll heal quicker. And I'm only ever going to get the worst of your diseases. Death is just inevitable. You have to understand that I can take care of myself. I don't always need a protector, Wes. Sometimes I just need someone to be there trough it all."

"But hurting you, hurting anyone, it's not fair. Not fair to them. I don't want to understand." The expression Wesley gave her almost broke her heart.

"I left my home because they wouldn't let me be alone. They kept me locked up because I was associated with the wrong side. Then I came here and I was again locked up. In someone's basement, then a hospital room. But Starfleet set me free. You have to realize I'm ready for the pain. And if you cause it, well, I guess we'll just have to get over it."   
The dress pooled around their legs, cold through Wesley's pants. He pulled her close, pressing his lips to her shoulder as she tightened her own grip. 

"I won't get over you." He mumbled.

"Don't plan on it then."

\---------

Natalia ran into the room, going directly into Wesley's lap. His surprised frame cuddled her instantly, registering first her coconut shampoo, then the tears soaking his neck.

"Natalia? What's wrong?" He rubbed her back in forming circles, growing more concerned by the second. He put the textbook down beside them, wrapping her in both of his arms.

"N-nothing. I was just a little scared is all." Despite her words, Natalia burrowed closer. Wesley made a decision as she sniffled into his skin. 

"Who?" Was the only question he had for the girl. She lightly shook her head, snaking her arms up to his shoulders. Wesley refused to allow this anymore. He'd pretended for so long that nothing had been going on. That everything would blow over. But Wes made the choice at that exact moment in time to never allow it to take place again. "Natalia, tell   
me who." He demanded.

"Max Lasehen." She gave in. Natalia herself was tired of it all. Her only friend was the cause of her lack of others. Sure, Wesley had other friends who loved him. But Talia was an alien in the literal sense. And things like that, being different, would always change her life. Humans had it so easy on planet Earth. Everything was all fine and dandy unless you happened to be from another planet. And with her people's history, the kind of people they were, no one would get over it. Pair that with overwhelming jealousy aimed at a certain Crusher boy which then filtered over to her, and she was sick of it. Though, one thing always remained present in her mind. "It's worth it." 

"They're hurting you because of me. Don't you get it?" He sounded angry. Talia pulled back and sat next to him, the act prompting Wesley to drain the menace from his voice. "When I said I didn't want you hurt, I meant in any way."

"I get it. I'm okay with it. No. Shush. You're the only person in the Universe I'd do anything for. This is nothing compared to what could be happening-"

"What could be happening isn't pertinent! Look, I'm having a talk with Lasehen." 

Their banter went on for a while after, resulting in a promise that got broken (along with a nose) the following day. For weeks people talked about the showdown of Crusher and Lasehen. Wesley went from Wesley Crusher, to Wesley CRUSHERRRR, much to the amusement of his peers. Lasehen, quite uncreatively, went to Losehen, a pun no one tired of repeating. Natalia became of limits to anything and everything, effectively isolating and alienating the girl. But she never showed a sign. And every night she got to come back and lay down on their couch, studying with her best friend, and forget about the world. 

\-------------

Wesley's quarters were always "theirs". From the very first day she exited her quarter and he was just getting to his. From the moment he looked over to her, grinned fully, and held out a hand. He'd known what she was at a glance, and was excited to meet one. That was okay with her. Wesley became her first friend. 

Wesley would always ask her questions. "What frequency is your hearing at?", "Do you have any different body parts?", "Are you fully Glyian?". It was cute in a way. She'd always think of another question to throw back, usually getting a smile out of the boy. Until he asked a very difficult question.

"How true is the description of hunter?" 

It could have been simple. Yes or no. But Natalia had paused. Immediately Wes picked up on the frozen moment, only becoming more intrigued. 

"It's an understatement," She started, sliding her eyes from the table to look directly into his. Wes didn't speak, but he patiently waited for her to continue on. "I can hear that red-head you hang out with. She's writing. Murmuring the words to herself. You took her on a walk today, by the pond. It was dark out, two am she said."

"That's impossible, Sally's in her dorm on the other side of campus." He dismissed her words with a note of nervousness. That was a little freaky, but as Data would say, 'Fascinating.'

"Your blood pressure increased, your pulse is ninety seven beats per minutes. You had soup for dinner, salad for lunch, and pancakes for breakfast. You twitch your finger twelve degrees, fourteen degrees, then twelve again when you're nervous. You're adrenaline spikes when there's danger. And when you're mad," A smirk spread across her face, uniform clad body leaning back in a primitive allure. "You're body heats up, brain pulsing and heart hammering. You start to sweat a little, and all of you're muscles flex in a synchronized order, checking their working orders. You get a tinged of red in your face, slightly mixing in."

"You made that up." Wesley wasn't completely buying it all, but a smile still played on his lips. Natalia smirked wider, leaned forward and looked him dead in the eyes.

"You masturbated ten minutes and three seconds before I came over." 

Well. Fuck.

"You-you could hear that?" His voice rose an octave or two. A small laugh escaped her.

"Hear. Smell. Feel the vibrations. Hell, I could taste it in the air. Kind of hard to ignore a show like that." 

"Does this happen every time something like that happens?" Wes shifted uncomfortably.

"Yeah." She sounded regretful, even irritated.

"I'm sorry. I won't do it again." Wesley couldn't help but blush ridiculously. 

"Don't worry about it. Any other questions?" She just wanted to move on.

"Sure." Wes dragged out the word, just so horrendously embarrassed. "Uh...do you ever get the urge to kill?" He threw it out there uncertainly, but she gave him an over zealous glare.

"I'm not a fucking werewolf, Wesley. But...in a way yes. You see...okay, screw it, I'm like a werewolf. I make a pack of those I love, those I'd kill or be killed for. So far, you're the only one fitting that criteria. So, when I see you hurt in anyway, I get the over whelming urge to cease the existence of whomever is causing that pain." It was an odd experience, even after the awkward tinged moment, to reveal this much to a human. But Natalia had already decided that Wes could know.

"Alright...why are you purple?" Much to the amusement of the girl, this seemed to be the question he wanted an answer to most. His eyes lit, spine straightened, and she could feel the curiosity leaking from his body. 

"My planet is a swirling mass of deep colours," Her expression became one of distant fondness, "But your sun has unfortunately lightened my skin. I used to be the colour of the vegetable eggplant." She was so pleased with that colour. The glowing moon of her planet would hit her skin, throwing a shine of gold flakes into light. Now...she was pale. And sickly looking. The gold flakes coming out in this worlds darkness. It was demeaning.

"Wow...humans aren't allowed on Glynon-"

"False. If a marriage was to occur, or any kind of union, then a human would be permitted on planet. But it's dangerous for a human. We'd keep you safe, but death could still be imminent." She became serious again, not wanting him to take the planet lightly.

"Has that happened before?" He was so freaken eager. 

"No. But I'm the first to go to Starfleet, so who the hell knows." 

Conversation gradually died out after that. Wesley went farther into his mind, thinking more and more. Natalia grew tired and said goodnight. But as he walked her the three feet across the hall, something changed. Natalia recognized the heart rate speeding up, could anticipate what he wanted to do. But as he stuttered to a stop, she smiled warmly at him. 

"Wes," She lifted to her toes, placing long hands onto his shoulders. He wrapped arms around her waist, leaning down to rest his forehead to hers on a heated angle. "You're not so bad for a human." A breathy laugh escaped his lips.

"Your not so bad for a homicidal alien." She grinned in completion, closing her lips to press them against his. The kiss was brief, an exchange of emotion and fondness. And as they broke away, Wesley kept his eyes closed but grinned fully. 

"Goodnight, Wesley." She whispered, opening her door and leaving him in the hallway. 

\--------

Natalia sat in her room. She'd just seen all of the trials, had seen them decide his fate. But the lies had made her more than upset. In fact, she'd almost killed Patrick in the hallway. Thankfully no one had been around to see her instrumenting the learned skill of a Vulcan death grip. But she'd stopped, knowing death would solve nothing in that situation.  
But after all of that, Wesley didn't even look at her. Wouldn't acknowledge her presence. And for the first time in her life, Natalia honestly felt alone. It was a weird sensation, considering the fact that her species had evolved into one which didn't require a complete company. A presence in a solid form wasn't needed. They, her people, communicated across distances with their minds. But Natalia didn't have anyone from back home, so she was utterly alone. It physically hurt.

Her door gave a characteristic chime. So much for the Universe's mightiest hunter. She got so damn distracted, she went into meditation. Meditation! How ridicules. Biting her lip, Natalia cursed herself for turning her primal instincts to the back of her mind. Too much time with humans. 

"Come in, Wesley." She called, neither turning to the door nor looking towards it in any way. The whooshing sound and falling footsteps (accompanied by an erratic heartbeat) signaled the nervousness of the human.

"T...Natalia." He sat next to her after a moments hesitation. 

"You're here to apologize. I can tell."

"Oh...so...am I forgiven?"

"I don't know. You never actually apologized." Blunt. Her specialty. Wesley looked guilty as hell and angry at himself. 

"I...Talia...I-oh my god...I love you." His eyes widened almost impossibly. 

Well that was unexpected.

"You love me?" Maybe she said that a little rudely.

"Y-yes. I do. But that's not an apology. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm an idiot. I'm sorry I blamed you. I'm sorry I just sprung that on you. I'm sorry I'm a-" 

"Shut the hell up and stop babbling, you idiot." She launched herself forward and kissed him, pulling back to glare at him. 

"You...you forgive me?" His voice was barely above a whisper. She grabbed his hand, smiling toothily at the intertwined fingers.

"Not yet." Natalia said pleasantly enough, that grin still present. Wes gave a hesitant smile in return, nervous to his very core. 

"I can work with that." Wesley agreed.

\---

Slowly, in such a gradual way it was almost missed, Natalia forgave her friend. Closer and closer they grew. And the day before they were to embark on missions that would shape their lives indefinably, the two sat on the moon soaked glass overlooking the water. It was a clear night, the still liquid reflecting everything, the sounds echoing to them in soft rings. The two held hands loosely.

"Talia...I have something to ask." He was nervous, again. 

"Yeah." She didn't remove her gaze from the space between the bridge and still water.

"Will you go out with me?"

"No."

"Then will you stay in touch?"

Natalia finally turned to him, searching his face. He knew what her first answer would be, just needed to let her know the option was there. 

"I thought that would be obvious." 

"Then you will?"

"I'll have to. I got re-assigned to the Enterprise. You mother isn't going to allow me to stop." She couldn't help the small smile from capturing her face. 

"You're going to love it there." He nodded, somewhat thrown. He then pulled her into him, resting his chin on her bleach blonde hair. "Tell them I said hello."

"I'll make sure to waltz onto the bridge first thing." He laughed a little at her comment, kissing her head. 

"Be careful." He mumbled. 

"I will. Now you have to promise something." She informed him, pulling back to look him in the eyes. 

"Anything." 

"Forgive yourself." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ten years. One resignation. One forced, ridicules, scandalous, early discharge. One seedy little bar and a reunion. One engagement. One wedding. A lifetime.

Yet Wesley never forgave himself.


End file.
